Bring on the Global Warming!

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Brrrrrrrrrrr!

After this latest winter storm which impacted so many areas of the United States, I would guess that if you asked anyone in Nebraska, Oklahoma, Texas, Massachusetts and New York if he or she believed in Global Warming – they would all answer the same thing – ‘BRING IT ON!!’  I know that personally, whenever anyone asks me about my beliefs in Global Warming (or Catastrophic Climate Change which is the new name for it!) – my answer is always the same – ‘I live in Nebraska so I pray for global warming every night during November, December, January and February.’

Actually, I grew up in Gunnison, Colorado – one of the coldest spots in the nation (actually, a recent article ranked the town #2 for coldest spots!) – so, although we didn’t know it at the time, we prayed for Global Warming all winter also – and that winter lasts a lot longer than November through February!  We hit our knees every night starting in September and ending in May!  I was once told that Gunnison actually only has a 30 day growing period (not being a farmer, I don’t know if this is accurate or not) – but the common joke was that the only thing you could grow in the valley were cattle, hay and kids!

I know that a lot of people take Global Warming (or whatever you want to call it now) very seriously and I am not going to ramble on about justifications for or against this belief – mainly because most people have already made up their minds about this and aren’t going to be swayed by anything I have to say on the subject.  However, I do have a couple of things I think people should think about:

  1. When I was in high school (a mere 35 years ago) – we were taught that the next Ice Age was imminent because the Ozone layer had been depleted by too much hairspray.  This is entirely believable if you think about the big hair of the 1970’s (Farah Fawcett and others).  So – I think that women should be given credit for stopping the next Ice Age since we gave up our aerosol spray cans to save the Earth!  
  2. I would really like someone to tell me what the optimal temperature for the Earth should be – so I can know when we are getting close to it or far away from it.  Obviously, many believe that the temperature is too warm right now – but when was the right cooler temperature – 10 years ago, 20 years ago – 1 million years ago?  Just a question I would like answered – I need a goal to shoot for – so, for instance it would be nice to know that the ‘right’ temperature for Omaha, Nebraska is 82.4 degrees.  Then on days when it wasn’t warm enough, maybe I could find an aerosol can and use it for a while or even run my car a little longer, just to bring the temperature back up again.  On days, when it was too warm, I might be a little better about walking or sitting in the dark for long periods until the temperature drop.

All I know is that the older I get – the better Global Warming looks.  It may not be pretty, but I can take off a lot more clothes to stay cool – and apparently the alternative is to slip into an Ice Age – and believe me – no one looks good in a parka!  Plus – I just don’t know what else women can give up to save the Earth this time – except maybe those menopausal hot flashes!

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5 responses »

  1. I hope you’re still amused by global climate instability when the mosquitoes start carrying malaria as well as the west nile virus, and our food supply in North America becomes increasingly unreliable as the weather becomes more and more unreliable.
    If the U.S. military is concerned about climate change and its threat to national security, you might want to pay attention, too:
    http://www.cna.org/reports/climate

    • Whoa — calm down — you will add a couple of extra degrees to the atmosphere! As for mosquitos — I was raised in the mountains of Colorado where the mosquitos are as big as small hawks! So, I’m not afraid of mosquitos — people who take life a little too seriously – yes, mosquitos- no.

      Please take a breath and read this in the spirit it was written — it is under the HUMOR post –NOT science!

  2. Oh Christine, Good on for commenting on a humourous blog. What a pity you dont let me leave comments on your serious blog. And facts are serious too by the way.
    In the meantime if this is what global warming does to the US climate lets start praying for some global cooling to warm it up again:)

    Cheers

    Roger

    http://www.rogerfromnewzealand.wordpress.com

  3. Pingback: Things I won’t write about « Pages from my Crazy Life

  4. Pingback: What I have learned « Pages from my Crazy Life

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