If God had meant us to fly, we would have wings…


Multnomah Falls, Oregon (2007)

That’s my husband’s mantra – he really hates to fly and this has caused a lot of yelling, tears and begging on my part when I want to travel to some place special with him and not just on a business trip.  I have been very lucky to get to visit some awesome places because of my business trips – Newport RI, Boston, Dallas, Orlando, San Antonio, San Diego – all kinds of places that I would love to show to my hubby – but he has always found some excuse that he couldn’t join me on my trip – whiny things like “we can’t afford it”, “I have to work”, “Someone has to watch after the dog” – which may sound like valid excuses – but when he uses them even though we have frequent flyer miles (little cost), he has unused vacation time every year and we no longer have a dog – I’m just not buying.

The first time I managed to get Pat to accompany me on a business trip was to Las Vegas many years ago.  I managed to drag him on the plane with a promise of escaping the cold of Nebraska in February.  That was when I first learned that he was as annoying in the air as he was on the ground about flying.  I wanted seats next to a window because I like to look while flying – but I also thought it would make Pat enjoy the ride more if he could see the things we were flying over.  Unfortunately, the only seats left with a window were behind the wing.  I say ‘unfortunately’ because Pat spent the next couple of hours commenting on the flaps going up and down on the wing – what the heck was the pilot doing, were we going the right direction, why did the flaps need to be going up right now, why were the flaps going down, were we at the right airspeed – and it went on and on and on – just like an Ever Ready Bunny Rabbit.  We did manage to have a good time once we landed – even though Pat doesn’t gamble – we wandered the Strip like a couple of typical tourists and saw the sights and enjoyed the energy of Las Vegas.  Then, we had to get back on the plane to go home – Pat actually suggested that we rent a car, leave a couple of days early and drive back home – in reality, he didn’t suggest that ‘we’ rent a car, just that ‘he’ would rent a car and meet me at home.  Definitely a crazy man!

It was a long time before I talked him into flying to meet me on a business trip.  However, this time he had to do it all by himself – just like a big boy!  I wanted him to join me Portland, Oregon, rent a car and we could see the sights.  Again, he suggested that he drive out and meet me – but that was thwarted by his own desire not take too much time off work – so he had to give in and take a plane!  He even managed to find his way to my hotel all by himself – I was so proud.  Now, I don’t know what he was like on the way to Portland – but he was probably pretty tame since it was at night and therefore, too dark to see much of what was happening with the wings – but on the way back he made up for lost time.  This time, he complained that we almost collided with another aircraft – he could even read the numbers on the tail and wave to the people in the windows!  I decided that he must have the eyes of an eagle (which you would think means he would like to fly) – because I saw the same plane and it was so far away I could barely make out what color it was – but according to him we were on a collision course.  I consider ourselves lucky that the only person he voiced his concerns to were me – so we didn’t have to sedate him and half of the other passengers – and possibly be put on a no-fly list!

Kauai (2009)

I have noticed that when one his children are at the other end of a flight, things are not quite so crazy and I don’t have to whine quite so much.  Our son was married on the island of Kauai in Hawaii – and Pat was just fine with that trip – or maybe he is finally getting past the whole craziness about flying!  He also did quite well when we flew back to Portland, Oregon for some friends’ wedding.  He didn’t even watch the wings on that one – so maybe he is becoming a seasoned traveler!

If that’s the case, then I think the next thing to tackle is to make him go on a cruise!  He likes boats and he doesn’t get seasick.  However, I have been told that unless they let him bring his fishing rod and throw a line off the back of the boat – what would be the point of going?  Excuses, always excuses – next he will be telling me that if God had wanted us to sail the seas, we would have been born with fins!


2 responses »

  1. My husband didn’t want to go on a cruise — he thought it would be boring. I ended up forcing the issue for my 50th birthday. He had to go! Guess who ended up liking it more? Suffice it to say, the minute we disembarked, he wanted to get right back on board!

  2. Pingback: Baseball, Fireworks and a Near-Death Experience « Pages from my Crazy Life

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