Today I learned the true power of Facebook for a mom.
It is not the fact you can keep tabs on your kids because Lord knows there are lots of things I don’t want to know about my children. I am of the opinion that what I don’t know about my children won’t keep me up at night, make me question my abilities as a mother or give me reason to call the cops. Of course, you must keep in mind that my children are 22, 24, 26 and 28 years old (do you like how I spaced them out? That’s so I could remember how old they are – if I remember at least one of them, I can get the others!) – and three of them are married. So I don’t have to, nor do I want to keep tabs on their every day lives.
The Power of Facebook is not the fact that I can connect with all of my friends from high school and college – previous jobs. Although I do get lots of good information on how all of them are doing with their own children and I don’t feel like I’m the only one dealing with a bunch of nutty children – and that I’m not the only one who sometimes asks “Why didn’t I become a nun and take a vow of celibacy?” – or “Tell me again why I thought children would be fun?”
The Power of Facebook is not the fact that I can see pictures of my children and grandchildren enjoying life. I usually get to see all of them in person – so I might think differently if I lived in a different city from them. However, there is a lot to be said about not being in the same city with your children – see the first paragraph concerning being oblivious. I love my children dearly – but there are times I love them far, far away from me – if nothing else to save my sanity and what little non-gray hair I have left.
No – the true Power of Facebook for any mom is found in its ability to allow me to nag electronically in a very efficient and public manner! I have tried nagging via cell phone – my children don’t answer my calls because of caller ID, they don’t listen to my voice messages because they can delete them right away and they ignore my texts because they can move on to the next interesting one. I tried nagging via e-mail, but my children treat these the same way they do texts and I’m pretty sure I’m being blocked by their spam filters. But now I have Facebook!
The real key to this is that my children have been stupid enough – oh, I mean, they love me enough – to add me as a friend. I am also friends with some of their friends – so even if my children decide to ‘unfriend’ me – I can still nag them through other connections! I don’t post anything on my status and I don’t post on their wall – I respond to one of their posts. For instance, my son posted a cartoon and indicated that whatever was in the cartoon was going to be his new pick up line for girls (luckily this was posted by my unmarried son) – to which I responded “The best pick up line for girls is I have a job and I would love to take you out to dinner.” My son had two other posts to which I replied something similar along the lines of getting a job. Within five minutes of the last reply, I received a phone call from my son (whom I had not heard from in about a week!) where he explained all of the interviews he had this week and the ones he had coming up later this week.
My son definitely has mixed feelings about my electronic nagging – he is proud of me that I have mastered the electronic medium so well and he wishes he could find a place to hide from me again. He would like to un-friend me so I don’t know what is going on, but then he would get nagged by his siblings for cutting me off – and I might actually show up in person at his door – not a good thing as far as he is concerned.
I simply remind him that if he could be an e-athlete because he competed on teams in on-line games – then I can be an e-nagger. The best part is that I don’t need a team or a dedicated server to be an e-nagger – I can use Facebook! And who knows – maybe Twitter is ready for a dedicated e-nagger too!