As I have previously mentioned, I am not much for exercising. I keep hoping that God will take pity on me and just make me thinner – or at least make donuts and cookies which would cause me to lose weight. So far, I think he is testing me and so I have not received that for which I pray – but I will keep trying.
In the meantime, there are certain exercises which I will definitely not be trying any time soon. One of these is Yoga. There are a few of co-workers who go to the company gym every Tuesday and Thursday to participate in a Yoga class. Every day, they has me to join them because ‘it would be good for me’ – and every day after Yoga class they tell me how sore they are and how hard it is to move an arm, a leg, a finger and other various body parts. I’m trying hard to think why I would want to participate in something that is going to make me so sore that I want to die – or at least quite breathing for short periods of time so my ribs don’t hurt. I can’t think of a single reason why this would be appealing. The last time I took Yoga was in high school and it was strictly for relaxation – not to stretch myself to the point of pain. Usually, I would fall asleep lying on my mat in the dark, listening to the yoga music – which would cause me to snore and drool – again something I don’t wish to do in front of my co-workers – especially when one of them is my boss. I just don’t think I want the vision of me grimacing in pain – or snoring and drooling – coming to my boss’ mind when he does my appraisal or when I ask for a promotion. These are not images I wish to embed into his mind.
Another exercise which I think I will stay away from is walking/running on a treadmill. My husband does this every night and every night he tells me how his legs hurt, his neck hurts (mainly from turning it to watch the TV which is not directly in front of his treadmill) and he is REALLY tired after running for 45 minutes. Lately he has been worried about falling on the treadmill and ‘sanding his face off’ before anyone notices that he has fallen. I’ve told him he is supposed attach the kill-switch line to himself so the machine will turn off if that were to happen – but he says it gets in his way. I’m still trying to figure that one out since I’m pretty sure you don’t actually go anywhere or turn any corners on a treadmill – so I’m not sure how it gets in the way. I think he just sees all of those young people in the gym (most of who never smile or greet you because they are in so much pain from running on the treadmill – and if they ate few donuts and hamburgers they might be happier!) and he is trying to compete. Obviously, sanding his face off is the least of his worries since his brain has been jiggled so much it has turned to mush!
I have yet to see an avid runner or exercise nut who is smiling while they are working out. I see a lot of pain, a lot of gritted teeth – and usually I get the joy of hearing a lot of grunting and sometimes even profanities. All signs that exercise is causing physical pain and discomfort to these individuals. I know people say ‘no pain, no gain’ but I know that I would be much more amenable to exercising if it was fun and involved no pain. My mother spent a lot of time telling me not to do things which caused me pain – like walking barefoot on hot concrete or touching a hot stove – and I have passed this information on to my children – so explain to me again why I would do something that would cause the very thing I’m trying to avoid?
Right now I’m sticking to my guns – and my donuts and cookies. I’ll start exercising when I see happy people coming out of the gym, smiling people in marathons and co-workers who aren’t limping and moaning after a Yoga class.