Yes — that is what my granddaughter called me today. I suppose it isn’t the worst thing she has called me — one time she called me ‘evil’ and I’m sure over the years I will probably be called much worse. It would only be right since my own children have probably called me similar things over the years (and are probably still doing so). Am I upset? Am I mad? Am I hurt? No way!
If I’m called SMOG by my grandchildren, it means I’m doing my job. I know that as a grandmother, one of my jobs is to spoil my grandchildren to a certain extent. However, a bigger job as a grandparent is to provide guidance and a sense of stability – and it a lot of cases to say that awful word that some parents have a problem saying to their children – NO.
My children called me SMOM many times. It was usually related to telling them “No, you can’t spend the weekend at your friend’s house while his/her parents are out-of-town.” Or another one would be “No, I’m not going to give you permission to get a tattoo on your 15-year-old body!” Or, “No, you may not die your hair purple”. Sometimes it was related to money – “No, you don’t need $50 to go to the movie.” Or, “No, I’m not going to give you an allowance for keeping your room clean.” I had a real problem with paying for chores when no one was paying me for making dinner, washing laundry, delivering children to activities or listening to whining.
I was also called SMOM for saying YES. “Yes, you will complete your homework before you go out.” Or, “Yes, it is time to go to bed.” Or, “Yes, you will pay me back for the damage you did to my car!” Or, “Yes, you will find a job.”
I’m sure that I will have many of the same conversations with my grandchildren – it’s just part of my personality. I have to counteract their BDE/BGE – Best Dad Ever/Best Grandpa Ever – who tends to say ‘yes’ just so children will leave him alone to watch his news. Or – he agrees with everything they say and ‘feels their pain’ when they are confronted by SMOM/SMOG.
My children are starting to learn one thing (and I’m sure my grandchildren will learn it too) — BDE/BGE has to live with SMOM/SMOG – so the one person he has to keep happy is ME – and sometimes that means saying ‘no’ to his playmates – no matter how painful it might be!