Sleeping Crazy Man


Let me tell you about my dream last night...

Over the past 30 years I have grown accustomed to my husband’s strange sleeping habits.  That doesn’t mean I don’t think they are crazy and extremely amusing – it just means that they have become pretty routine.  I can always tell when he is under stress about something because his crazy dreams become much more intense – and he starts to act them out.  I have had many wonderful conversations with him during these moments – and I do tend to share them with people whenever possible because – well, because – it’s funny!

There was the time I woke up to Pat scooting to the bottom of the bed while on his stomach.  He did this until his knees hit the ground – at which point I asked –

“What are you doing?”

“I’m parking trucks.”

“What kind of trucks?”

“Really big trucks.  They need to be parked.”

I got him back in bed and he seemed to have finished his job because he didn’t park any more trucks the rest of the night.

Another time, I awoke to him diving off our bed and hiding in between the bed and the dresser.

“What is wrong?!?”

“I’m being attacked!  Get down!”

“Attacked by what?”

“Paper!  It’s everywhere!”

At which point, I grabbed him and dragged him back to bed, assuring him that the paper was done attacking him and we would take care of it in the morning.

At various times I have been awakened by him grabbing me and telling me to get away from the edge of the cliff or the hole.  He has jumped out of bed to look for something, only to come back and tell me he found it — don’t know what it was, but he seemed happy so we let it go.

During all of these conversations, as with most sleep walkers, Pat appears to be awake – and is very responsive.  So, I try to make the most of the situation – because I know it will make a good story later on.  Plus, I get to tell him in the morning what silly things he has done.  Of course, he doesn’t remember any of it and accuses me of making things up — but these kinds of stories you just can’t make up!

As he has gotten older, there is less action to his craziness — mainly because our body parts don’t move as fast any more.  However, he does seem to remember his dreams better – and he is definitely still crazy – as evidenced by last night’s dream.

He dreamed that he was being attacked by people who were obviously vampires because they were wearing flip-flops and you could see their little bitty bat feet!  He tried to kill them with a silver butter knife but wasn’t having much success.  That’s when he woke up with a really sore neck and was positive he had been bitten by those creepy vampire people with the yucky bat feet!

If he is willing to put up with my snoring, I suppose I can put up with a little crazy sleep drama from him – plus, his antics are much funnier than my snoring will ever be!


3 responses »

  1. Another one?! My husband doesn’t do the sleepwalking (fortunately) but he does sleeptalk. We’ve had plenty of interesting conversations along the lines of what you’ve posted here but he NEVER remembers his dreams and SWEARS I’m making it all up the next morning when I tell him all about it! As you say, there’s no way you could make up half this stuff. Hehe. Oh, and he’s the snorer too. 😉

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