Rogue Hair

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I need a purple beret!

We’ve all had them – those weird mutant hairs that pop up in the strangest places – our arms, our stomach or our eyebrows – sometimes even our ears.  They like creatures from one of those 1950’s sci fi movies — nothing there and then within a couple of hours you have a hair long enough to tickle your neighbor!

I’ve gotten used them over the years and think they are pretty weird – but nothing too obnoxious — until today.  Today, I found one ON MY CHIN!  Oh my God, I’m becoming the bearded lady – or Cousin Itt or Chewbacca!  Maybe it was just stuck there – not really growing out of my chin.  Why me?  I’m so young?  Why didn’t my husband tell me about it?  Is my eyesight that bad that I couldn’t see it?  How long was it there?  Why didn’t my husband tell me about it?  Is his eyesight so bad he didn’t see it?  What am I going to do?  Do I need electrolysis?  Maybe it’s not that bad — maybe it’s only one mutant and it doesn’t have an entire family.  I’m sure my husband did see it – he would want to walk around with a lady who grows a better beard than he does.  Oh well, I’ll just pull it out and see what happens.

After I had through three stages of grief – denial, anger and acceptance – all in a span of about 30 seconds — I figured it was time to move on.  I plucked the little mutant off my chin and continued on with my day as if nothing had happened.

If I wake up tomorrow looking like Cousin Itt, I’ve got a really cool pair of sunglasses and a purple beret all picked out!

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4 responses »

  1. You are one in a million katie. I’ve had the odd chin hair too so now I watch and wait for its reappearance…fun ain’t it?

  2. Just wait. This is not the first one. By that I mean more will follow. It starts at one. You think (after the embarrassment stage), “Oh, that’s manageable.” Then you spot another one — in a different place and think, “Wasn’t that one I plucked over there?!” Yes, it was. You now have two. I have two little colonies, one on either side of my chin, that I pluck daily — by that I mean I police the areas and pluck whichever ones are coming through and can be grasped with a tweezer.

    You’ll try plucking, shaving, waxing — I’m looking for deals on laser hair removal! I also have a few underneath my chin, sort of on the double-chin part of my face, technically the chin area, not the neck. And then the random 3-4 that don’t reside with the others. I guess they are waiting to start their own little colonies. By my estimate I have more than 50 but under 100 chin hairs. At least for now. But since I’ve seen women with full beards, I’m grateful that it’s just the few. And it all started with . . . ONE.

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