The Perfect Job for Liam

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In search of an injury

I have thought of a couple of jobs for Liam – if he survives his childhood –where he can run head-first into things, tumble down stairs, throw himself head-long into the face of disaster.  It’s a tough choice – but I think he would be great as either a Crash Test Dummy or a Hollywood Stuntman – I think the only difference between the two jobs is the pay scale.

In the past week (probably not even an entire week), Liam has managed to throw himself a flight of stairs (leading with his face, of course) – so he now looks like a boxer with his skinned up nose and lip.  He proceeded to fall backwards onto the treadmill and took a chunk out of the back of his head.  He then came to my house where he was running around the kitchen island and decided that he was bumper car – and ran smack-dab into the wall!  Wasn’t sure if we should laugh at him or not – he didn’t leave any marks on himself (or dents in the wall) – so we decided to laugh.

Those are just the ‘big’ events – I’m not even sure where he received all the bruises on his legs from running and tackling the dog or his sister.  Plus there are a couple of scrapes on his elbows and knees which are mysterious in origin.

I’m having a strange sense of déjà vu because this is the same discussion I had with my hubby about our son, Bob when he was about 4 years old.  By the time Bob was four, he had broken his arm in two places, contused his lungs, tried to drown in a lake and almost broken his jaw.

Both these boys share a certain characteristic – a lack of vision concerning consequences.  When you walk into water above your waist, there’s a good chance that a wave is going to knock you down and try to drown you.    When you stand at the top of the stairs on one foot (and that foot is hanging over the first step) and not hold onto anything – there’s a good chance you are going to be watching the ground coming to meet you.  When you jump off a slide onto hard back earth, there’s a good chance your chest won’t like the impact.

Luckily Bob survived that period of his life and I’m sure Liam will also.  I’m sure there will be at least one cast, some stitches and lots of bruises in his future.  I’ve thought about encasing him in foam rubber – but the way that boy races headlong into life, he’d probably get to close to an open flame and go up in smoke.  I don’t think we need to add to the hazards he will find on his own.

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