Present Snooper

Christmas gifts

Hmmmm, what could they be?

There are lots of different ways to try to find out what is under the tree – not just for yourself, but for everyone else.  Tim (my son) used to find out what everyone else was getting (didn’t bother his own presents) – just so he could tell his siblings that he knew what they were getting – and sometimes even ruin the surprise for them – but more often, just rub in the fact that he knew something they didn’t know.  I was always surprised that Jenny, Bob and Becky didn’t do the same thing to him – probably because they were far more interested in their own stuff!

So here are some tried and true ways to figure our what is under your Christmas tree (WARNING – don’t do these to presents under other people’s trees – they may have you arrested!)

Shaken, not Stirred.  This is the oldest method – used by every child since time began.  The good part – you don’t have to actually unwrap anything and you can let your imagination run wild with the possibilities of what is contained within that box!  The bad part – your imagination probably won’t even come close to what is inside – plus, there is a good chance that if the gift is breakable, you will be getting a bunch of pieces of something along with a bottle of glue.

Poking, Prodding & Peeking.  This was Tim’s favorite method.  Poke a hole in the paper in an inconspicuous spot – and peek inside.  Great way to actually see what is inside.  Bad part – could poke in the wrong place – and then you might has well have Shaken, not Stirred.

Free Gift Wrapping.  Carefully un-tape the boxes and ribbons – and have a hidden stash wrapping paper and tape to re-wrap in the case of a really bad tear.  This is a sure-fire way to see exactly what you are getting.  However, if you get caught, not only will you be Shaken, not Stirred – but there is a good chance your gifts will be returned for very large lumps of coal!

X-Ray Vision.  This was my mother’s favorite way of checking out her haul.  She used to work for a doctor and had access to the x-ray machine.  In the middle of the night after we were all asleep, she would load up the car with her goodies, take them to the office, lay them out very neatly on the x-ray table and take a full body scan of her loot.  A little radiation never hurt her slippers and her curiosity was completely satisfied.  This method only works if you have access to the right equipment – or if you are related to Superman!

Remember – not only does curiosity kill the cat – but it also could lead to lumps of coal and a Shaken, not Stirred Present Snooper!


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