Shopping with Uncle Bob (or how a bachelor shops for children)

English: Barbie Portrait

Hope he grabs this one!

Bob (my oldest son) wants to buy presents for his niece and nephew – but isn’t sure what to get them.  So, he called his sister (Lizzie and Liam’s mother) and asked her what the munchkins would like.  Once Jenny got past the shock that Bob was actually buying presents for people this year, the conversation became more normal for Bob –

Bob: “What does Lizzie want for Christmas?”

Jenny (Lizzie’s Mom & Bob’s sister) – “She really likes the Monster High Girls.  They are dolls called Frankie Stein and others based on vampires, werewolves – but fun for little girls.”

“That’s just wrong – I can’t get her that – she’s only four!”

“Just think of them as a Barbie who has been attacked by a zombie.”

“No — that just sick and wrong.  Tell you what I’m going to do — I’m going to shut my eyes, run down the Barbie aisle and just grab a doll — what do you think?”

“She will be fine with that.  Don’t run into anyone while you do it.”

“What about Liam?  Does he like Spider Man – and if he doesn’t, he needs to start right now!”

“Liam loves Spidey — he has Spider Man shirts and coats — and..”

“But does he have a toy?”


“Well, this one says it is for kids ages 4 and up.”

“Liam is only two.  It probably has parts which he could choke on if he swallows them.”

“Why would he swallow them?”

“It’s what two-year-olds do.  I can take out the small parts and put them up until he is older.”

“Good.  I like this one — I’m buying it – you can throw away the parts which will kill him.”

“Any other presents you want advice about?”

“Oh God no!  I’m worn out — this is too tiring.  I’ll finish tomorrow.”

“You do realize that Christmas is only 5 days away.”

“Yeh – your point?”

“Don’t wait too long.”

“I’ll just power-shop on Saturday if necessary.  It’s amazing what you can get when you run down the aisle with your eyes closed!”

I’ll be amazed if Bob doesn’t get a large knot on his head from bumping into a pole while he is shopping with his eyes closed – but apparently this is part of the challenge.  I’m really hoping he goes down an expensive jewelry aisle for me!


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