Being an all female family, my mother always felt that the odds were with her that at least one of us would remain an old-maid and stay home to take care of her in her old age. With that in mind, our boyfriends had certain “tests” they had to pass before they were accepted by our mother.
Test one. The right answers to the following questions – How tall is he and does he play bridge? The important question here is whether he played bridge. She would accept a boy shorter than me if he played cards. Bridge was the game of choice – but Black Jack would do. If a young man passed this portion of the test, he was allowed to show up to take us out. However, most times Mom would say “Let’s play some cards” – which meant we would play for money – and within a couple of hours our dates would be completely broke and we would end up staying at the house watching television with Mom.
Test two. This only came into play if the young man in question actually returned after losing all of his money to my mother – and if my mother still wasn’t sure she liked him very much. The young man in question was allowed to actually take us out of the house on a date and we were expected to return at a normal hour – usually midnight. My mother would greet us at the door in her bathrobe, slippers, her hair in pink spongy rollers, both sets of dentures out of her mouth, chewing a caramel and smoking a cigarette. She was a lovely sight to behold. At this point, if the young man ever called us again, he was definitely a keeper.
So – the wisdom we learned from our Mother — If a man truly loves you he will spend all his money on foolish things to impress you and he doesn’t care what you will look like when you are old!