If you smoke cigarettes, you will get pregnant

its hard keeping this one on one hand and the ...

Fertility Drug for Singles?  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ll bet you never learned that in your sex education classes – but every one of my children will tell you that smoking cigarettes will lead to pregnancy.  Their father taught them this from an early age and has started with his grandchildren.  When my hubby, Pat asks the question “What happens when you smoke cigarettes?” – the correct answer is “You get pregnant” (or in the boys’ case – “you will get someone pregnant”).

How is this possible?  Well, there is a certain skewed logic to Pat’s lesson – so try to follow along:

If you smoke cigarettes, this will lead to drinking alcohol.

If you are drinking alcohol, you will get drunk.

If you get drunk, you make poor decisions.

If you make poor decisions, you will have sex with someone.

If you have sex, someone will get pregnant.

Hence, smoking cigarettes causes pregnancy.

I have tried to explain the fallacy of this to Pat many times – which should be very clear to him since I never smoked (and neither has Pat) – and we have four very lovely children.  His answer?  We were married before we had our children.  So, apparently once you are married you are fertile all of the time – not just when you smoke cigarettes.

Luckily for our children, they didn’t rely solely on their father for sex education – they watched television too!


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