- Our cab driver was from Tehran, Iran and he came here in 1997. He was married 3 times and his current girlfriend is from the Philippines. He has an 8 year old son and he brings his mother over from Iran every few years. He has a brother and a sister. He has a business degree and was manager at a Walmart, Target and CVS. He thinks that the cause of all wars is because of sex – men wanting sex and women controlling the distribution. He thinks all women are beautiful. Although he is from Iran, he is not Muslim – he is Bahá’í. He misses all of the wonderful seasons of Tehran and its beauty.
- When people wait in line to check their bags or change their tickets at 7:00 am – they get MEAN! There is no smiling, dancing or talking to each other — I don’t care what you see on television — even families are not nice to each other! Maybe airlines should consider serving free donuts and caffeine while people wait for 30 minutes — a sugar and caffeine high never hurt anyone – and it may save the life of a ticket agent!
- People will show you the strangest things while waiting in the security check line. Don’t be surprised by the guy who shows you all of his Cornhusker tattoos when you tell him you are from Omaha. Security should have asked me if the man had any weapons on him — because I saw parts of him that I’m pretty sure his girlfriend hasn’t even seen before!
- While boarding a plane leaving a cold climate to go to a warm climate – even people with canes and walkers move faster than the speed of light. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. Airlines need to find the average age of their passengers and if it is over 75 and you are heading to Omaha in March, add at least 60 minutes to the boarding time necessary to get everyone on the plane.
- Men will help every woman under the age 30 put her suitcase in the overhead bins — even if that man is over age 70 and on portable oxygen.
- Every woman over the age of 30 who is under 5’4″ should bring a footstool with her if she plans on getting her bags into and out of the storage bins.
- If God arranges to let you have an empty seat in between you and the other person in the aisle – you are destined to have the man across the aisle start using his vomit bag while preparing for take-off. This same individual will ask for your help when getting off the plane later on.
- Married men do NOT help the women under 30 get their bags out of the bin upon arrival. They will sit and stare until their wife drops their own bag on their head – but they won’t help.
- Women and small children are the only people who really know what their bags look like as they come out on the baggage carousel. This is usually due to the fact that all of the men have concussions – which only proves what the cab driver stated on the way to the airport –
All wars are caused by sex