Naked Reality

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Toga party before reality show cameras show up

Naked Wedding before reality show cameras show up

I have noticed that there a LOT of reality shows about being naked – which has me totally confused. I know that we supposed to be much more enlightened but I’m pretty sure that the majority of the population doesn’t look anything like the naked people in the new reality shows! If it was a REAL reality show – there would be some people with “love handles” and men with pot bellies – not to mention there would be a lot more cellulite on the show! As far as I can tell, all of these shows were thought up by people related to Hugh Hefner – or maybe Hugh thought them up himself! The shows do seem to be coming from the addled brain of a lecherous 88-year-old man!

Seriously? These “reality” shows are just ways to titillated the audience and pump up their viewer share (I’m sorry I just couldn’t resist!).

Here is just a sampling of what I have seen lately –

  • Dating Naked. I’m pretty sure we used to call this premarital sex – or in today’s lingo “hooking up”. They’ve just skipped the bribery part of the date – dinner and a movie.
  • Naked Real Estate. Nudist searching for property. Mostly it is a challenge for the cameraman to film well placed bottles and cupboards. This would be a lot more interesting if you combined it with the show where they look for cabins in the wilds of Alaska. Now, that would be worth watching!
  • Naked Wedding. Oh yea – no more wedding dresses, tuxedos or stupid looking bridesmaids dresses! I’m thinking there may be a whole new industry blooming for the flowers for such occasions – maybe instead of bouquets, some well-placed floral pasties.   I think the Greeks and Romans called this an orgy – without the togas!
  • Naked and Afraid. No list would be complete without this one – which is on the Discovery Channel. I think the only thing we have discovered on this show is that men are whiners and women can use this as a great weight loss program! By the end of the show they are no longer naked since they are covered with mud and filth. I think they should be disqualified since they are technically no longer naked. These are always done in the tropics – but I think it would be much more fun to watch if they were in Alaska, trying to keep warm and possibly having to kill a bear for the fur! This show really should be called Dumb and Dumber – but that title was already taken.

I’m sure there are other Naked Reality Shows out there – but I haven’t had the privilege of flipping through them as fast as I can. Porn channels are automatically disqualified because they usually start out with clothes – and they are actually in the “fantasy” category.

These shows prove my theory about bad movies and television – whenever the show really stinks or doesn’t seem to be doing well – make everyone naked! Apparently, I’m not the only one who thought of this!

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