I Don’t Understand Why I am Soooo Cold!



I grew up in the mountains of Colorado, so maybe my perspective is a little skewed due to the fact that our winter lasted basically from September until May. However, I can honestly say that it never even occurred to me or my friends that shorts were year-round attire.  There does come a point where self-preservation should kick in – and I say ‘should’ because apparently this instinct has been bred out of some people.


It is 20 degrees outside, wind chill factor puts it closer to -20, it is snowing and I have to go the quick shop for some necessity (usually Diet Coke). I only live a couple of blocks from the store, but my first instinct is to start the car so it will warm up, put on my heavy jacket, scarf, hat, gloves, sock, shoes – and LONG PANTS.  Not once did it occur to me that this weather calls for flip flops, a hoodie and a pair of shorts – even if today’s shorts are absurdly long.

And yet, without fail – there is at least one individual in the quick store wearing clothes that would be better suited for the beach in Hawaii! I would like to give these individuals the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe they just moved to Nebraska and don’t understand our weather – or maybe they just came from the airport after flying BACK from Hawaii – or all of their winter clothes are dirty and they haven’t done the laundry – but I just don’t think that is the case.

I have come to believe that one of two things have happened during the evolutionary process:

  1. We are starting to evolve into beings without the ability to feel temperature changes. This could be because we spend all of our time indoors – playing video games, watching TV, looking at our cell phones. So – if you can’t feel the temperature, it doesn’t matter what clothing you wear outdoors – you are always comfortable. You look stupid, but you feel fine.
  2. We are starting to devolve into beings that haven’t the brains to keep ourselves from freezing to death. Same reasons as the previous scenario – playing video games, watching TV and looking at our cell phones. If your brain cells are missing, you don’t realize that you are freezing to death. You look stupid and you are stupid.

So next time you see one of these individuals in their shorts and flip flops – just remember that their toes turning blue, their teeth chattering and knees knocking together are just signs of the next step in our human species. God help us all.


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