And Another One Bites the Dust…

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flip phone

… or in this case was drowned!  Yes – it is true – my sweet hubby has killed another cellphone, which brings his total up to 11 by my last count.  He found yet another body of water which needed to be used for killing his ‘electronic leash’ which he really does have a love-hate relationship with.  He has drowned cellphones in Lake Superior, the Gulf of Mexico (cell phones sizzle in salt water), Blue Mesa Reservoir, the Gunnison River – and other places (The Wrath of Pat – Cell Phones 0, Pat 5).  We can now add Prairie Queen Lake to his list.

Now mind you – he didn’t do this on purpose – at least consciously.  It was the first nice spring day this weekend – a weekend in which Pat really wanted to take his boat, the Pipedream out for a spin.  I thought it was still a little too cold because the wind was pretty crazy – but he was adamant.  He pulled out his waders but thought that was a little much since he would be sitting in the boat – so he put them back.  Instead, he put everything in his pockets – pocketknife, wallet, keys – and yes, his cellphone.

All was going well as he pulled up to the boat dock – even though he was the smallest and oldest boat on the ramp – as well as the oldest truck on the ramp – and possibly the oldest man on the ramp.  He had the boat all lined up, got it into the water and then disaster struck!  He had forgotten to undo the strap holding the boat to the trailer.   Now, you wouldn’t think undoing a strap from around a small aluminum boat would be a big deal – but if the boat is floating and the strap is wet – it is not going to happen.

So, being a logical person (maybe not), Pat jumped into the water – without waders to free the boat.  Unfortunately for the cellphone and other items in Pat’s pockets, the water came up to his waist.  With no thought to his own safety, much less to the life of his cellphone, Pat worked feverishly to release his little boat.  He received no help from others at the boat dock – who probably just very glad it wasn’t themselves.

Finally, in despair – not for the cellphone, but for the inability to free his much-loved little boat, Pat gave up.  He pulled the boat out of the water, made sure everything was tied down because it would be just like the water gremlins to make every get released once he came out of the water – and drove home to put his boat away.

He sloshed his way home and as he walked in the door, he released that his pockets were holding a lot of soggy items.  I think if a fish had managed to crawl into his pocket while in the water, it would have made everything better – but alas it was not to be.

As he emptied his pockets on the kitchen counter, he explained what had happened – and that he should have worn his waders!  As he pulled out his car keys, a little water dripped off but they seemed to work fine.  His pocket knife was damp, but no harm done.  His wallet had to be emptied of what little money he had – and more important his fishing license was taken out right away to dry.  And then out of his pocket came the ‘dead fish’ or cellphone as it used to be called.  He was just sure it was still working; the red light was blinking – but as it did for the cellphone he dropped in Lake Superior as we watched the light blink on its way to the bottom of the lake.  We took it all apart, put it in a bag of rice and prayed for a miracle.

The next morning Pat removed the cellphone from the bag of rice, put it back together and it was still staring at him with its blank, dark screen.  However, he put it in his pocket and thought it might come back to life during the day.  He reminded me of our son Tim who carried around a dead bug in his pocket for a week because it ‘might move again’.  Yep – they are related.

At the end of the day, Pat had to admit that the cellphone which he hated and found necessary was no more.  So, this weekend we will go find a replacement for him – but it will have to be the same kind he currently has – which is a flip phone like Iron Man has in End Game – only Iron Man took better care of his!

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